True Language Crimes
“Mr. Martin, have you stopped splitting your infinitives yet?”
“Mr. Martin, have you stopped splitting your infinitives yet?”
“Mr. Martin, have you stopped splitting your infinitives yet?”
Mrs. Hitchcock stood in front of my second-period English class and asked me that question.
It was about the only “wife-beating” sort of question appropriate to ask a ninth-grader, and I was frozen. I was mortified. All heads turned toward me.
On the Spot
I had been brought up to understand that it was rude to give clever answers to adults’ questions because adults probably would not find them to be clever at all.
That immediately ruled out Bart Simpson's replies, “I never did it, nobody saw me do it, and you can’t prove anything.” I was left with no reply either way, except to gulp and voice the perennial “working on it, Mrs. Hitchcock!”
That experience and those that followed over the next four years left such an indelible print on me, that, although short of becoming a grammar Nazi, I did develop an insanely strong set of guardrails regarding the use of the language.
My children would probably tell you that I could be persuaded to share language tips with people, if I were asked ( or forced.) (And yes, “WERE” is the correct verb tense over “WAS” in that example.)
A Slippery Slope in the Grammar Landscape
Today also seems to have become the age of indecision. Our leaders at almost any level, are incapable of leading and making a decision, They are able but to call a meeting or appoint a committee to do so.
Similarly, we have become incapable of straightforward speech. There are a few positive statements. They are usually modified and weakened by adjectives and adverbs. “That is good.” is now “That’s ‘kinda’ good or ‘basically’ good” must be worded, “that’s very good” if something is simply good.
Plausible deniability no longer permits precise statements but mires us in vaguery. “I didn’t ‘really’ say it was good- I said it was ‘kinda’ good!”
I seem to have an especially difficult time listening to or reading the efforts of some (OK, many) communicators on broadcasts or in print.
Last Thoughts.
Therefore, for others with a similar pet peeve, I am dedicating a corner for us to share language crimes. Please feel ‘kinda’ free to include any of yours as they present themselves.
Your pet peeves should not be of the “going 15 mph in the passing lane” stuff, but rather how people butcher sentences or invent unnecessary words. This is a place for you to vent.
There will not be a test. This subject no longer counts any percentage toward your final grade.
These thoughts appeared originally in one of my blogs.
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