Newsletter For The Painfully Shy

People who won’t subscribe.

I know who you are.

How?

First I ran the list of the peeps who follow my stories. (Thank you!)

Then I ran a list of peeps who subscribe to home delivery of my stories.

I subtracted, leaving me with a list of people who evidently demonstrated having good taste at one point in their lives but were just not joiners. Sat at their own lunchroom table, you might say. Don’t have library cards because of the invasive nature of the sign-up.

They may be conspiracy folk who don’t use the banking system but know they have a hundred bucks buried ten paces from their back fence post. Anything and everything worries them.

Nice people.

But I digress, they are nice people.

A LOT of nice people.

Their fear of loss is just greater than their desire for gain.

So to them, I say, “Well done last week! But, you may have missed three grins, a guffaw, and a horselaugh.

Let’s step back and take a look at where we are.

Last week.

Last week, we discovered that even though a tiny percentage of non-subscribers to home delivery receive notice from medium concerning a new piece of mine, there is a way around this.

Let’s say, in addition to penning mind-bogglingly good stories, I also am responsible for a couple of publications, call them “Guns & Butter,” or “Mutt & Jeff,” it doesn’t matter. And as a last resort, having been kicked off most other publications, I publish my stories on my own publication, where I have only THREATENED to ban myself so far.

Well, at this point, a shy person, afraid of subscribing to the reindeer games could simply follow one of those publications, and check the box that indicates that it’s acceptable to them that they receive well-thought-out recaps from time to time.

Yes, it is a bit of doublespeak, but it works and sounds a lot less offensive on the front end.