I Paid $97 for Some Writing Course, and All I Got Was a Bunch of Stupid Theories!
And this t-shirt…
Some of the stupid theories tried to sound like a result of actual experience.
“What if…”
Some just started, “What if…”
It’s like when I was a kid. The first time I jumped into a real lake and not just a pool. I jumped off a board that was probably a hundred feet high.
And, of course, being a kid, I just jumped in feet first.
I went deep.
I went deeper. I kept going deeper, for almost an hour, holding my breath. The water grew colder and colder as I went on down.
I was in over my head.
Eventually, I realized I was in over my head.
Eventually, I started to wonder if my breath would hold out until I came back up to the air.
I have, since then, noticed it is like that almost every time I write a new story or even try something new. I get in over my head I worry I won’t live to enjoy it.
Then I promise myself, “No more lakes!”
Until next week.
That is why we, here at the Real-Life Academy of Big-Time Writing, simply refuse to teach our new writers anything but the cold hard facts of real-life storytelling.
No stupid theories here to make you cry upon discovering the truth. No having to up your meds on our account. You’re welcome.
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