Hump Day Humor Update
Midweek Merriment…
I could just kiss you!
Originally Published in ILLUMINATION - Oct 5, 2022
Don Martin, real-life writer, MMA coach
Tourist’s Corner
It is joyous that on lower Broad, the heart of our Cryin’-In-Our-Beer district, this week was the birthday of Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge, a backstage area where fans and stars have gathered for decades to cry in each other’s beer (pre-covid) because it’s right beside the Ryman Auditorium.
Celebrants by the hundreds spilled over into the streets for a few blocks, swinging guitars and erecting more stages with even more music. This was not a riot or insurrection, it was a birthday party, just to be clear.
The Ryman was where the Grand Old Opry was held forever until it moved to a more affluent part of town, where a larger auditorium gave the opportunity to sell more (and costlier) tickets. Now we all cry in our cabernet or our sparkling water.
The new auditorium was also situated where they could build a huge hotel and a fun amusement park.
The sleeping part has flourished, while the fun part went sneakers-up a few years ago.
Denizen’s Corner
Our mayor and council here have almost reached the conclusion that the best use of twenty or so million more dollars should be headed the way of the unhoused.
But in our infinite wisdom, instead of building them housing, we will soothe our conscience by giving them home loans. This way, they can try to make their way around this spread-out city, and find a house here in a town where we are already short of houses.
You know, the American dream- a picket fence and a two-shopping cart garage.
And a mailbox for their junk mail and their home loan statements.
City officials are pretty proud of the idea, but I’m sure they think I’m insensitive to write it down.
And This 2024 Update…
Always having a finger on the pulse of the needs of the city our mayor and council has begun to examine the Briley Parkway, a multi-billion parkway that circles the city, so that local traffic at one end can quickly become local traffic at the other end.
Now, an advisory board comprised of coffee-house hipsters from trendy parts of town has convinced them to re-imagine that parkway circle into a walking path greenway cutting through the center of the circle along the river and through some areas where Kevlar is a fashion statement, primarily because of its mosquito repellant qualities.
Hump-day Weather
All of the weather peeps on all the channels who only read and try to memorize whatever the government weather service gives them are quite busy this week!
Today’s Power word is FISHSTORM.
A FISHSTORM isn’t hitting land anywhere.
So, in other words, this time, nobody cares how wildly inaccurate they are.
Besides the fish who have televisions, usually tune in to a different channel.
Hey, Alexa, what’s the weather gonna be like? Will there be a fishstorm in the atmospheric river?
Thanks for your time!
Don’s a keen observer and prolific reporter of truth, common sense, humor, & life. He is a WRITER|CREATOR|HUMORIST — Don@DonMartinBooks.com — Follow him at twitter.com/DonMartinBooks — Subscribe to his personal newsletter.
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