Civility, Gratitude, and Control
Abstract terms that can give us a black eye
Abstract terms that can give us a black eye
Civility, gratitude, and control. Seeking balance.
I work now and have worked for many years, in an environment that sometimes shows our darker side. Any interaction between people that is competitive can be that way. If there is a perceived winner or loser, there is that possibility. Even if it can be reduced to simply getting what you want vs not getting it, there is a bit of struggle built-in.
“Cindy and I would like to thank you for your help in selling our home and for the purchasing of our new home. You showed incredible poise keeping all parties calm when the buyers for our home became difficult.
I am proud to have been known, at least by some, as the cooler head a couple of decades ago when a home sale could end up a wrestling match.
Civility describes the behavior of a person or group. It is not easily or quickly changed.
Gratitude describes the attitude of an individual. It can be changed with some effort by that individual.
Control describes perceived relationships over which you may or may not be in charge. Control can also be a currency of importance.
Civility is the sum of the gratitude of a person and his or her sense of control over any given situation.
Gratitude is something that is natural in some, and must be cultivated in others. It is something that can be improved by listing items for which a person is grateful. This list might be used in a daily or at least frequent meditation or prayer.
Control is something that can be assessed on an individual basis, and its perception is always individual. We must ask ourselves…
1 Is control not ours at all?
2 Is control necessary or even good in this situation?
3 Do we want control for the sake of control?
We want to score high in civility, high in gratitude, and sufficient in control, knowing that there are some things we cannot control. Some things are unnecessary to control. Trying to control those things that are beyond our normal control will result in frustration. If being controlled where it is natural to be controlled is a problem for us, the prayer or meditation should be toward attaining peace with ourselves.
At the end of the day, we could all be more. The natural order of humanity is for us to become more civil, more grateful, and more in control of ourselves. At least this is my desire for myself. I hope to dig a bit deeper into each of these soon.
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