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For the purpose of this illustration, let’s say you are Ned, a student at a snooty private university. You are a freshman, studying liberal arts. Nothing special about you.
At dinner time, you ramble to the cafeteria, grab a tray, and as you move down the line, you notice that all your choices are familiar to you.
There is Monday’s meatloaf, last week’s spaghetti, and a tired veal cutlet shaped like Lake Huron.
“Isn’t this the same stuff we’ve been eating for a while?”
“The beauty is it hasn’t killed you yet.”
“I’m just tired of it.”
“Wait a minute, let me see your student ID card.”
You hold it up and show him. His eyes light up, and he breaks out into a big smile.
“Wait a minute- you’ve got the 8 oz. ribeye coming… I told the manager we should look at these at the start of the line!”
“The undergrads here checked on their survey that they liked meatloaf, spaghetti, and veal, so that’s what they get. You, on the other hand qualified for the upgrade, which tonight is this tasty prime rib eye. ENJOY!”
So flash to reading this publication. If you enroll as a bourgeois undergrad, you will probably get the usual groundhog day dinners.
If you upgrade, and subscribe to a dish that you like, the administration will go out of its way to be sure you get what you want, regardless of the difficulty. And the best part is it’s free- it won’t cost your daddy an extra farthing.
How to do it.
If you are one of the discerning readers who enjoy my writing, there are three places for you to consider upgrading.
Medium.
You’re already here. You’ve paid your tuition. If you are enjoying this or any of my other stuff, you can get your free upgrade by clicking the little envelope-looking icon near my name and bio. Then every time I publish one of these magnificent pieces, it will find its way straight to your computer’s email. And it’s free!
My Substacks.
It’s the same way on my Substacks. I do have three or four, and you are welcome to read any one of them. Treat them like a website blog and look at them whenever you want. But, here again, you can upgrade by subscribing. And I will do all the work- write write write, email email email, and that upgrade subscription is free too.
My author’s website.
Here again, you can check it out for free, but you can also subscribe for free. Anytime you subscribe, you will get a much better dinner.
Isn’t it time you, too, became an upperclassman? Subscribe now, and get your upgrade.
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Don’s a keen observer and prolific reporter of truth, common sense, humor, & life. He’s a WRITER and humorist, sometimes serious, sometimes tongue-in-cheek. He lives in Nashville, TN. He publishes every weekday morning. If you liked this stuff, get his direct delivery by subscribing HERE!
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THAT will support the arts!
Thanks,
-don, changing what I can change, laughing at what I can’t.